I love when Facebook reminds me of moments I’d almost forgotten.
Today it told me that twelve years ago, I was in Westminster for a consultation on the UK National Autism Strategy.
The Minister for the Care Portfolio, Norman Lamb, was there speaking. After his talk, a big crowd gathered around him, people eager to be heard and to make their point. But I knew that wasn’t my space. In that noise, my voice would disappear. I knew my best chance to be heard wasn’t in the noise of the crowd but in a calm, direct one-to-one moment.
So I stepped outside.
A few minutes later, as Norman Lamb left the building I reached out my hand, introduced myself, and as we walked towards his office, I gave a short but passionate spiel about Autistic women and the child removals happening in our community. He listened. Then he told me who I should speak to next.
I went back inside, found that person, and simply said, “Norman suggested we meet and chat.” And that’s how the conversations began to include Autistic women and girls in the review of the autism strategy. That moment changed everything for women and it gave me a seat at the table.
Back then, we had Autistic women as presenters and a few writing books and blogs but very few were doing policy work. Understanding of Autistic women was still minimal. Autism was seen as something that happened to boys.
And Autistic motherhood? Well, if we supposedly didn’t exist and the stereotype said we didn’t really even have relationships, then motherhood was never even considered.
I love those events as they are often a great chance to meet up with peer advocates whose friendship is invaluable. There is something very special about connecting with people who understand the work, the passion, and the challenges of this journey.
Looking back now, I realise how far we’ve come, but also how far we still have to go. That day in Westminster reminds me that real change often begins with one conversation, one connection, and one moment at a time.
Author’s note:
I continue to work alongside government and community leaders to ensure autistic voices — especially those of women and mothers — are heard in health and policy spaces. Every step forward reminds me how powerful our community is when we stand together.