I never imagined I’d be writing about dating at this stage of my life. As a mum with adult children and after 21 years of marriage, I thought my relationship story was already written. I did not marry to get divorced. But life, as it often does, had other plans.
Stepping back into the dating world feels like navigating a minefield. The rules are different, the language is new. Apps, texts, emojis is a whole new terrain. And after years of long-term partnership, the idea of vulnerability and trust feels unfamiliar.
I am a pansexual woman, and for me, attraction is fuelled by the person rather than their gender. But this journey isn’t just about attraction. It is about me and how I process, what I need, and how I show up in romantic relationships when I truly centre myself.
Before I am ready for a committed long-term relationship, I feel the need to unravel who I am, separate from being a wife and a mother. As my children have grown into adulthood and prepare to live their own independent lives, perhaps this is my time to learn about me. To understand myself in ways I couldn’t when I was defined by family roles. Maybe this phase is more about exploring who I am than about being in a relationship with someone else. I don’t know yet. I’m still figuring it out, and that uncertainty feels honest, necessary and even freeing.
In June 2025, I shared my story of victimisation at the United Nations, speaking about some of the most deeply traumatic experiences of my life. Speaking my truth on such a public stage was terrifying, but it was also a release. In the act of vulnerability, I took ownership of my story using my own narrative. From that healing comes a soft opening into self-awareness and the capacity for connection. It is a reinvention of myself that is independent, resilient, and real.
Writing about dating is part of that process. It helps me make sense of what is happening, reflect on new patterns, and share insights that might resonate with others on a similar journey. So many of us—mums, parents, women in our 40s, 50s, 60s—suddenly find ourselves in this strange, sometimes intimidating space. I want to offer a space for honesty and reflection and a reminder that it is never too late to learn, explore, and find connection again.
Dating at this stage is not just about romance. It is about rediscovering ourselves, honouring our needs and recognising that our worth is never defined by relationship status. It is about stepping carefully but with courage into a world that can feel overwhelming and sometimes wonderfully surprising.
Yes, the dating world is complicated. But it is also full of opportunity. And if sharing my journey makes it a little less daunting for me, and for anyone reading it, it feels like a story worth telling.