Sometimes life drops these tiny little signs that make you totally smile. For me, it was SG’s tattoo of peonies. Yep, the same flowers that have basically taken over my bedspread and are spilling all over my study. I recently Temu’d the heck out of the place and fully embraced the teen-girl-should-remember-less-is-more tacky vibe. Honestly, I laugh every time I sit there. Of course, it matched. Because, of course.
SG and I are both fresh out of long-term relationships and, honestly, we’re not hunting for a new one. Nope. What we’re craving is connection. The light, easy, honest kind. Connection that doesn’t come with heavy baggage or drama llamas.
Then SG went quiet for a week. Cue my brain doing gymnastics—analyse, loop, overthink, repeat. Classic. Misunderstandings love to grow in that little space. But instead of spiraling into a Netflix special called Monique Overthinks Everything, I hit pause and reminded myself: communication is about the response you get. If someone misreads me, it’s not a problem. It’s feedback. A chance to clear things up and reconnect.
So I went straight for it: “Hey, what’s going on?” And bam! SG responded openly. Turns out we were on the exact same page. Just a tiny misread signal that needed a little clearing up. Crisis averted. Cue happy dance.
This is why I adore connecting through an Autistic lens and why NLP is basically my sidekick. Communication can get messy for us. What feels like genuine curiosity or excitement can sometimes read as “intense” (sorry not sorry, brain). But when we speak clearly and directly, there’s no guessing game. No secret codes. Just pure, open honesty.
We Autistic folk have a “curiosity spark.” That little pull toward something or someone that feels alive, fascinating, and full of possibility. For me, it’s not about chasing novelty. It’s about connection. My brain basically screams, “this feels alive, go explore!” Curiosity builds rapport, joy, and connection—with others and with my own sense of wonder.
Maybe that’s what the matching peonies really mean. Life’s little wink about alignment, curiousity, and connection. And the best part? It doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes all it needs is honesty, openness, and a teeny bit of sparkle.
Reflection Questions
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When communication feels uncertain, do you retreat or reach out?
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How can you reframe misunderstandings as feedback instead of conflict?
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Where in your life might curiousity be misunderstood as intensity?
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What helps you create trust and flow in new connections?
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How can you embrace your own brightness without shrinking for others?
Author Note
Monique writes through lived experience exploring how communication, curiousity, and connection help us understand ourselves and others more deeply. She writes with honesty about reclaiming her full brightness.